I knew my whole life I was going to be a mother and a badass rich AF business owner. I would play “birth my baby” with my friends and our stuffed animals and then the next minute we would be outside running our own resturant and serving customers.
Motherhood and business were never seperate for me. My inner child knew that I would become both, and it would somehow happen simaletaneously. It was not something I consciously tried to make happen, but rather something that unfolded so unconsciously, but so knowingly at the same time, my world changed forever when I became a mom and a business owner at the same time in real life.
After giving birth to my daughter half way through massage therapy school and studying with a shaman, carrying a surrogate baby (that was my own egg) while birthing my online presence and business Lightworker Liv LLC, and carrying my son 10 weeks after the surrogate while continuing to create my online presence-
I have first hand experience on birthing a business and a baby at the same time.
Birthing Iris and the surrogate were intiations of me truly taking full responsibility for my mission, but birthing my son Aspen was the uplevel of a lifetime.
Even though I was becoming this amazing lightworker spiritual coach that had recoginition and respect in the online community, I was still struggling deeply with old self concepts and attitudes i was being pushed to let go.
Something wasn’t clicking anymore. It had been almost 3 years since I started my business and by the time I birthed Aspen, my chakras were so out of alignment after- all this healing I was doing for others had to be turned on to me.
I experienced my first burnout period in winter of 2018 when Aspen was just 3 months. At the time I was making almost 10k months consistently without really even having to try. Success was coming so easily to me because I had chosen to make it work no matter what, but I was so drained and depressed on the inside I could not even acknowledge all the success I had created.
Looking back, what I really needed was support. I was so stubborn to asking for help because I had been betrayed so many times, I really had the belief that I had to carry it all on my shoulders. It went on like this for almost two years and somehow I was still making sales, but they weren’t to soulmate clients and becuase I was struggling with this emotional imbalance in myself I would often create unnessecary drama with people out of fear of not being enough.
If I am being really honest with you, this pattern has haunted me my whole entire life and a lot of my root and sacral chakra trauma is JUST NOW really coming into a new level of healing that I have never experienced before.
I was letting my spiritual ego run my coaching business and my life. I was all up in my head constantly doubting, but then coming back into trusting, but always ending up back in doubt. I was creating relationship problems, money problems, health problems. My mind was addicted to the negative and I did not want to feel like a fake person to my audience that was still watching.
Being raw and real and open and honest about my own journey and the challenges I face has been a core part of building my coaching business and my brand, and it’s also been a core part of how I raise my kids. I’m not here to subsribe to the illusion that we have to present ourselves out in the world as if we are perfect in order to be accepted, loved, abundant, prosperous, and supported. I knew that I was going through this for a reason, and I knew that I needed to be honest with my kids and my audience about the process…. and in turn I knew this would help me heal too.
I started just opening up on my stories, on my lives, in posts, about how I had been really struggling with being a mom of 2- breastfeeding my baby all the time (which was honestly a 2.5 year challenge for me especially having PPD), AND feeling like I had to be the main source of income for our family-
I shared my story and truth but I also was real with myself on and off camera about how I was creating this, and needed to not be the victim. The thought in my head was “can’t I just go back to before” and it haunted me day and night. I wanted to be someone that I was, but that was never going to happen again.
Harking back to the past but trying to move foward was slowly killing me and my business. Things really started to shift when I finally tapped into needing to take care of my health and well being as my number one priority.
I didn’t feel safe in my body anymore. I had litterally almost died giving birth to Aspen (my blood pressure was out of the roof and I was somehow not having a stroke), and I hadn’t healed from that truamatic experience. My body, mind, and emotions didn’t have time to catch up with life and for 2 years I was building a business, and nurturing a baby and parenting a 4 year old without filling my own cup.
I had become my own mother, and when I looked in the mirror I saw her face in my face, and I saw her stress in my childhood as the stress I was carrying now. Something had to give. I stopped denying my own needs out of the fear that something outside of me needed me more and I got real about what I needed to do to learn to manage all the responsibilities I had signed up for.
Microdosing psylocibin mushrooms consistently started rapidly creating new neuropathways in my brain so that I could start thinking properly again. I also invested in my health and got a Kangen Water machine, which started improving my sleep and gut health tremendously. I got out of my comfort zone too and traveled by myself for 10 days to ween my 2.5 year old from breast feeding, which was something that I truly needed to do at this point for my own well being.
When I came home renewed and refreshed I committed to a structure that worked for me which including…
-working out weekly
-having a spiritual prayer practice to Source and my Guides
-taking radical responsibility for my relationships with my loved ones and money
-loving myself radically and learning how to embody the big dreams I have been creating my whole life
-raised my prices and started an authentic timely marketing practice that made me 25k in 6 weeks and got me to my first 20k month in my business
I was trapped in my body and in my mind and if I hadn’t gotten the support I truly needed to show up as a business owner and as a mother I would STILL be struggling with this internal turmoil today.
You’re a Queen, but you do not run your empire alone. Granted, my King (husband) was right next to me throughout all of this- but it was hard for him too. He could only do so much for me, because you know when you’re a boss bitch it’s hard to listen to your man.
Surrendering control was HUGE for this process, and the births I have been through have given me so much insight to how this whole creation thing, and at a certain point a part of you must die- and if you resist this metaphorical ending, you can create trauma and get stuck in the past.
Bravery is also something that kept me going. I knew I had to be brave. I had to face my fear of failing, of dying, of being a shit mother and traumatizing her children, losing my husband to alcohol or just the drama of it all- I had to face it, own it, and heal it.
My inner child’s dream of being a mother and a business owner became real so fast without much conscious effort on my part taught me all the things NOT to do when birthing a business, baby, and new life all the same time.
Everyone is differnt, but if you’ve been called to birth a business and a baby at the same time and you want high level support from a spiritual coach like me, check out my 12 month program Conscious Pregnancy.
From conception to 3 months after the birth of your buisness and your baby, I walk you through a guided journey on weekly zoom calls, and in person birthing support, to consciously create your dream of being a mother and a badass business owner.
This is a high level 5 figure investment, serious inquires (as in you’re ready to book and pay) can book a 20 minute discovery call with me below.
http://www.calendly.com/lightworkerliv *choose 20 min discovery call*
I am only taking on two women for the year and I would love for one of them to be YOU!